Well my husband is not supportive of me going for surgery....I knew this from the start, but at the end of the day I was hoping he would come round and support me a little bit if nothing else, but it doesn't look like he will :(
As far as he is concerned there are other options - however, I have exhausted those options, yes I have been losing weight so far, but it is only 3 stone in 10 months and over the last 3 weeks I have put on (yes I know it has been christmas but I haven't pigged out on sweets etc, and have been eating pretty much normally!). I have lost weight in the past, but it has always gone back on again, and 9/10 times more has gone on than has come off :(
He also thinks that I am risking my family by putting myself through surgery - can't he see that if I don't I may also be putting my family at risk also by being morbidly overweight and dying young anyway, not to mention the complications which go with being overweight?
For many years (since I found out I was pregnant with the twins - 15 years old tomorrow! - I have always put the family first, always done everything I can for the children etc, and put my needs at the end of the queue, but in doing this I feel that I am doing this for me but it is equally for the family as well, as it will improve my health and mean that I will (hopefully) be around a lot longer to enjoy my family and to see children, grandchildren and hopefully great grandchildren grow up.
Lets face it, I am only having a gastric band and if it doesn't work or is not suited to me at least I can say I have tried everything and that maybe, just maybe I was born to be a fat person and that no matter what I do, I can't change that, but I have to give this a go.
I used to suffer with depression and was taking anti-depressants, all because of how I felt about myself and my body and my weight, but since I have been on this programme I have come off the anti-depressants and feel so much better in myself. Yes I had a wobble back in July last year and ended up in hospital but I got over it and have moved forward, and since I saw the consultant back in September and was told he was putting me forward for funding I have been so happy - just wish my husband would share my happiness.
Yes he is a very negative person, always has been and always will be, but I need to do this for me. My main trouble is that I have never stood up to him as far as putting my opinion across and always let him do what he wants - 20 years of what he wants - and now I feel that I owe this to myself to do something for me. He said again this evening, "I take it you are still going ahead with it at the end of the month then?" my answer "Yes!".
Many years ago (before I had my youngest), when I had been complaining about my weight and having a cry etc he said well when we have some money perhaps we can look into surgery, but its like he has forgot all of that, and now just wants me to carry on as normal.
Anyway, that's enough of a moan for today!
Thanks for reading....
Lou
xxx
